About Grand Piece Online:
I really wanted to like this game. It’s silly, it has a Tommy Wiseau pigeon, and it costs $1. But some things are just broken.The entire game consists of flying left or right and pressing space to poop on things. Sometimes the things move, and sometimes there is wind, so your poop moves. The dialogue between levels is in broken English that is usually understandable if you take an extra second or two. All of that is fine. It’s funny, simple, and endearing. The problem is the one difficulty mechanic (admittedly I didn’t get very far) is wind. Wind makes your poop move, and wind changes direction, except it doesn’t. Currently there’s a wind indicator that shows you whether wind is blowing left or right. Wind always blows right, even if the indicator says it’s blowing left.Also apparently it’s just a browser game, because every time I hit F12 to take a screenshot (the default keybind in Steam) a Chrome debugger window pops up over the game.On one hand it’s $1 and it’s entertaining enough that I kind of don’t care. On the other hand I just paid $1 for a browser game with one mechanic that doesn’t even work.I read the developer’s notes but this still has to be said: the English script can be improved. To be fair, the developer worked on this game alone (he’s originally Russian, I presume) and the script is more than understandable.There is very little room for error. You usually get just a little more than enough poop bombs to beat each level; perhaps 1-2 extra shots. Siding with Cipher, for example, requires you to hit all 10 of your shots on people. Hitting people is already a frustratingly precise task – you’re moving, the people are moving, and wind influences your trajectory – so having such limited shots really amps up the difficulty. I also noticed that if you manage to hit two people with one poop, it only counts as one hit. Luckily you can retry as many times as you like.Would be nice to have a skip dialogue option – I had to manually spam to get through the dialogue in the serum level a few times.The fight with Irwin was very finnicky. I found it unnecessarily difficult to damage Irwin. Instead of aiming to hit the back, I would have preferred something like hitting the head with your claws/feet.This is not necessarily a negative aspect, but I found it strange that the whole game unlocks when you beat one storyline. When you beat the game once, you suddenly have access to all the levels in all three story lines, shouldn’t the player have to beat those levels first?
